Sometimes it is just a gift.
Morning Rain
I don’t know why rain brings clarity, but it does. A little like sunrise or a beautiful sunset…even mud. I’m thankful for walks in the rain.
Dress Code of Heaven
My Life Journal musings for today….
Mark 16:5 As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
Observation: Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of James, got a big surprise when they went to visit the tomb of Jesus. It had to be pretty spooky! It’s not everyday you go to the cemetery and meet a visitor from heaven.
Application: We just passed Halloween in our cultural celebrations and All Saints Day (or “the day of the dead”) is this Sunday. We celebrate the lives of those who have gone before us. In preparation for Sunday, I’ve been reading in Revelation 7 this week…where it describes this great crowd of people from every nation, tribe, people and language..all wearing white robes. There are other places in the Scriptures that describe visitors of heaven in white robes; it seems to be the dress code of heaven. (John 20:12; Matthew 28:2-3; Luke 24:4)
I wonder what it will feel like to be dressed in white? In our human context we think of a bride – pure – clean – carefully prepared. Sometimes we even discuss silly questions like, “is it OK for a bride to wear white for a second marriage?” We take those questions seriously; most often the answer is “no, it is not OK. She can wear off white or color, just not white.” But that is not how God works. God offers us something new to wear…something that does not bear the marks and wounds of life on earth. And it is not a color that says, “not quite perfect”. Dressed in white there is nothing to prevent us from feeling worthy to move forward…to walk straight into the holy space and take our place in heaven. When he was struggling so hard with his mistakes, King David cried out in his prayer to God, “wash me and I will be whiter than snow..” (Ps 51:7).
Somehow, by God’s grace and the pouring out of God’s love in the life of Jesus Christ, God has made it clear: all of our mistakes, dysfunctions, failures, those “what was I thinking???” moments…none of it stands in the way of what we will become. None of it causes Jesus to say, “Ummmm….sorry, your white robe was taken off the rack yesterday, it isn’t here”. Love is stronger than death and God is love. Sometimes mistakes and sin feel like “death”. They destroy our self-worth. They distract us from the greater things God has for us. They make us turn away from God because we think we are no longer “good enough” to ask for God’s help or God’s grace, much less God’s plan for our life! That’s just not true. There is a white robe with your name on it hanging on a rack in heaven. And every now and then, in the ordinary days of life on earth, God is going to invite you to see a glimpse of how good it looks on you. And if you are really interested in a relationship with God – you are likely to get invited to wear that robe in some very surprising ways while you are on earth! You will probably never know you have it on…but you will know something heavenly has taken up residence in you. Enjoy the journey.
Prayer: Gracious God, thank you for finding so many ways to get our attention and draw us into your love. Thank you for coming to earth in the life of Jesus Christ and revealing yourself to us in a way that we could relate to as human beings. I love you and I’m looking forward to someday wearing my white robe! Please help me to live into its fitting while I’m here on earth.
Walking in the Rain
Tiki and I just came in from our first walk in the rain. Well, more than a “walk in the rain” because there is a pretty good amount of thunder and lightning to experience with it. I knew this day would come and I wondered how I would feel about it. I know it doesn’t sound right, but we loved it! I traded in my high heels for a good pair of flip-flops; my tailored sweater for a rain parka and kept the animal print skirt because I didn’t feel like changing clothes. We headed out with an umbrella and a sense of adventure. It all proved worthwhile. The rain pouring down reminds me of the rain in Guatemala and it is welcomed tonight. Our soil here needs it; my soul here needs it.
Afterwards, with a little energy to spare because our walk was brief (even us “brave” ones aren’t that enchanted with lightning) we ran sprints in the hallway which was too much fun. One of my neighbors came out and found me….in an animal print skirt, yellow rain parka and flip-flops, running sprints with my dog. I made a lame apology and she assured me it’s all “OK”. I guess she already knows all about the joy of walking in the rain and finding anywhere you can to run with joy. I don’t know, but for me, it smells a bit like grace is covering us here tonight. Let it be.
Aunt Edna and The Jelly Jar
On the Lester side of the family (my mom’s side) I have a Great Aunt…Aunt Edna. She lived to be 106…and on her own until 102 or so. Aunt Edna was a very wise woman and among the wisdom I remember most about her was her simple life. She made choices that kept her life simple. I mean big choices. She lived next door to the church…no driving needed. She memorized scripture so when her eyes failed or she didn’t have her Bible, she would have the scripture available. I remember standing at her bedside in the nursing home when we she was 103 and hearing her recite scripture. All you had to do was say one line and she would finish the rest…entirely.
Well, Aunt Edna was healthy and she loved jelly. She also knew that too much jelly wasn’t a good thing for her body. So she strategically placed the jelly jar on the highest shelf in her kitchen. A shelf so high that to get it she had to climb up on a chair and reach to the tips of her toes just to get it. You can imagine…it took a lot of “want” to make that climb just for a taste of jelly. And that seemed to balance out her love for jelly and her desire to be healthy. Simple. Choices.
I recently made a committment to simplify. It’s been a long time coming. Spending the month in Guatemala was a good boost in the balancing department. There in the land of colors and culture I faced my materialism, waste, ego, desires and all types of reality every day. When you meet someone that owns 1 or 2 pairs of shoes total, it just makes coming home to 16 pairs of shoes a little odd. Actually, it makes it a lot odd…it just doesn’t work. The food I throw out is needed by someone who is hungry. The medicine I purchase and let expire could alleviate pain in another’s body. The coat I don’t wear anymore (but “might” for the right occasion) will keep someone warm this winter….unless, of course, it remains in my closet.
Aunt Edna had the jelly jar and I have boxes. Boxes of my life. “Stuff”. After having been gone a few weeks I’m not even sure what’s in those boxes anymore. But this is my strategy for the next year: I will open at least one box a week (I don’t have more than 52 boxes now). Whatever is in that box will be used by me, get sold, or be given to someone else who can use it. I would like to be “box free” or “storage free” or just light enough to not feel the burden of my possessions. Imagine… life where the weight of sunflowers in bloom is all you have to carry. God is so faithful and I’m going to need God a lot for this adventure! Let it be.
The Space Between
The space between
here and there
south and north
near and far
the other side of the door
the other side of the world
My spirit hangs, hurts, cries, laughs, hopes
and prays…
in the space between.
Vona Rose Wilson
de 6 septembre de 2011
The Rainy Season
It is pouring rain in Miami but it is nothing like pouring rain in Guatemala. The rainy season runs May through October. I’ve been in the pouring rain in Nicaragua in August – a delight I will never forget, but only a few times. Now the rains of Guatemala have left a lasting impression. It is hard to imagine until you experience it …day after day of afternoon pouring rain. Most days it is not that bad – you just pack a rain jacket and put it on when it begins. However, what is something…the part that doesn’t leave, fade, or become “normal” is the impact on the people who live this season. I have watched it day after day in many communities in this country, but my perspective is only one month….just a tiny glimpse.
Yesterday on the ride to Guatemala City, it was pouring rain. The mud was running down the mountainsides. The streets were flooded and the holes grew bigger. The road between Quetzaltenango (Xela) and the City is all curves…just one after the other. There are no speed limits here – you just drive and make the best of each moment. As we made our way through a few hours of driving I watched as we passed by literally hundreds of people walking in the blinding rain – on their way home from work or the market or the tasks of the day. Occasionally there would be someone on a bicycle with a trash bag or plastic poncho flying in the wind, covering their shoulders and providing some shelter from the wind. When the day faded into night, it was hard to see and we were watching for people as much as for flood water or stalled cars without lights.
The rainy season. Watering the earth and providing nutrients for the dry season to come. Challenging the daily grind and reminding me that my life is so easy. When it rains, I have immediate shelter. I get to drive wherever I go and when night comes; I have lights to guide me. This is not the case for everyone – even working people with jobs and enough money to eat. And what am I doing with that “ease” of life? There is a song by Jackson Browne with a line that says, “and when the morning light comes streaming in, I’ll get up and do it again”. I think that when I get up tomorrow I am going to do something different.
Three Visitors from Claro
Answered prayer is always a tricky subject. Some would say it is whatever happens. Others would say it is “unanswered” if it doesn’t turn out as expected. And many will just avoid the subject altogether for fear of being wrong. What I think is that we simply have to share what happens from our perspective and let it speak for itself. Wrong, right, awkward, amazing, what we wanted, not what we wanted….whatever it is. It just is. I never want the fear of being misunderstood or “wrong” to prevent me from just sharing what I see.
I have many of these stories but this is one I want to share out loud today. The other day I was on my way to Champerico with the goal to arrive before sunset. Why else do you go the beach except to experience the maginificent display of God’s creative expression in a day: sunrise, Pacific coast waves and sunset? It wasn’t sunset time, but it was near approaching. The road is horrible…nothing compares in the U.S., but imagine one road of nothing but potholes and you are traveling it. On one of the bumps the car died. Just died. Right there.. on the road to Champarico. Car dead. Nothing. You can’t call Triple A and you really aren’t sure what happens when a vehicle breaks down in the middle of the road in Guatemala. I wasn’t worried but I was definitely curious of how this part of the adventure was going to unfold!
After a while of us pushing to try and get it started, I began to pray that God would send some angels to push the car for us and get it started. I don’t know why I specifically prayed for angels to help us but those were the words that came. A few minutes later, as the sun was setting fast and dark was truly only minutes away….a pick-up truck with Claro stickers on it (local cell phone provider) pulled up with three men in it. They helped us push and when that didn’t work they got interested in the situation. We popped the hood and went over the scenario again. We all agreed: it seemed like it was the battery. But they wanted to troubleshoot and makes sure. One man pulled a tester from the truck and assessed the spark plugs: all working. Another pulled out flashlights (by now it is completely dark) and another pulled out some strong wire. They found a cable that had been pulled from the battery on the bump. Aha! These three men reconnected the cable with wire from their stash. They made it all clean and perfect. And then the test: turn the key and whalah….it started!!! I was jumping for joy..truly. I pulled 100 quetzales from my pocket and they refused it, even with much insistence. In my broken spanish I told them they were a direct answer to prayer. Did they know?
As we drove away from that spot and on to the destination my spirit and mind were so full of thanksgiving. I had no idea how God might answer my prayer that angels would come help us push the car and it would start… but I am certain I never dreamed it would be as clear, creative and beautiful as three locals showing up with tools, knowledge, willingness to help and sending us safely on our way.
Once when Abraham was sitting in his tent he was visited by three men. (Genesis 18) There are many opinions about who these three men were and why they came. They gave hope and they spoke things that were beyond human understanding and practice. I can’t say exactly who these three were that visited Abraham, but on the road to Champerico this week I think they stopped by in a Claro pick-up truck. That’s just my perspective. God is so faithful. Rest in that truth.
Back at Bambu
The Bambu is beginning to feel a lot like “home” to me. I’m back in Mazatenango and thankful to be in familiar surroundings for a night or two. I know how to get taxis, clothing, money, and good pizza here. Tonight the women at the desk learned how little Spanish it really takes to communicate: “I have a document I need to scan and email to myself and this is really important to me”. I need all of this experience and by the grace of God others are willing to let me get it!
I visited La Toma today. There were no classes because it is a day for the teachers to sell the artistic works of the children to raise money for the schools. Felix joined Doris and me early and we walked around and talked of future projects.
We looked at the land where the vision for a community center is evolving. I shot some video of it (very amateur) and we dreamed out loud. And… Jenny showed up.
Jenny was the last picture I took when the bus rolled out of La Toma
with our team on March 7, 2011. When I posted her picture I said, “I will not forget you”. I saw her in April and today, with no school in session, she showed up as if she knew my arrival time before I did. I was carrying a picture of the two of us in my backpack; I knew we would see each other this trip. She is well dressed and sweet – looking for hope. She gave me a picture of herself earlier this year with a note of hope for a scholarship so she can stay in school and learn. That’s Jenny.
The land for the community center is all jungle now and a beautiful spot. The project will be a joint effort of the Metodista Church and the La Toma School and community. It is a dream Norris has been working on for many years and it seems its time has come. I have a second meeting next week where we
will speak more of the next steps. It will be a long-term project and the ideas
of it’s scope are far far reaching. It’s a God-sized dream. It is a project of
collaboration and peace. It is a project that will allow us to foster learning of many types…art, music, health, biblia, computer, leadership, environment…etc., etc. It will be a space for sharing, learning and engaging in multi-cultural
experiences. It will be a place for peace to happen and for people to grow in their understanding across cultures.
After this we went to Parque Central of San Antonio to meet up with Ana, the principal of the La Toma school. It was SO GOOD to see her! Claudia, one of the teachers was there as well. I purchased several items that the children made and these will be for sale at Franklin’s “Celebration of Cultures” on September 24th.
Love is a tender thing. It is so full of joy and so full of sorrow. C.S. Lewis gave us a quote that never leaves me. “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s the deal.” We saw Douglas today. He is the little boy with eye cancer. Thanks to the generosity of one or two people, Douglas had surgery and has been doing very well. But today when we called to visit him, he was gone to see the doctor. We tracked him down and were able to be with his mom when she met with the doctor and received the news that Douglas is very sick… his cancer has spread to the brain. It was heart breaking. Felix and I lay hands on him and prayed with him and his family. We prayed for God’s healing miracle in the life of Douglas and his family. Being here at this moment was a gift of God. Doris has grown very close to this family and to Douglas. It has changed everything for her; a job has become a way of life. Doris grew up in the Metodista Church. Juan Pablo has always been her pastor. Lately Doris finds herself knee-deep in God’s miracles and the life of the people. It works. We are asking all of you to pray for Douglas – for his health, his life on earth and his family. It’s OK to ask for a miracle, so please do.
Our last “official” stop of the day was Halo Guatemala, the deaf school where Ezekiel attends twice each week. They have moved since I was here in April…a larger facility and with a yard to play. Jose showed us around and also presented me with an 8 x 10 picture of the large group of kids our church helped send to Guatemala for free hearing assessments AND their own hearing devices from Ronald McDonald back in July. It was a great meeting and much appreciation expressed by everyone. Friendships are being formed. Our church is making a way for deaf children to learn and grow in their communication skills. I am so thankful for the church – for willing hearts and generous spirits. It is making a huge difference. Tomorrow I hope to visit Ezekiel in his home and deliver a special drawing from John Overstreet, a boy in our congregation in Franklin who wears the same hearing devices as Ezekiel. It has connected these two young boys. Someday they will meet face to face.
So tonight it is the Bambu. I hear the sound of big trucks pulling the hill, the water of the pool running strong and the heartbeat of God offering breath every second; it is good and I am thankful. Let it be.
In Case You Were Wondering….
Sometimes we all wonder, “am I in the right place? did I get all my turns and cues correct? is this the road you wanted me to be on right now?” And life gets really fun when we quit wondering so much and just enjoy the adventure. I was enjoying the adventure today when this happened.
The background is our church historian, Andy Miller, who is a leading expert resource on Wesleyan history, the movement of the Holy Spirit in Methodism and a host of other things. In recent months, Andy has mentioned, in casual conversation, a collection of Wesley’s teachings that he published a few years back for a special request: to translate it into spanish! As he shared this we both had that “aha!” moment when we realized he had a resource in spanish that I would know where to place. Andy called me the day before I was leaving for Guatemala to tell me where to go to get a sample and take it with me so I could get a “feel for it”. I was slammed trying to get everything done; I wanted to get it but I ran out of minutes. I’ve thought so many times over the past 3 weeks how much I wished I had that in my hands.
So today as I was catching a few pictures of the VIM Conference Room in Guatemala there was only one set of books on the shelf. I noticed the imprint right away: PHP: Providence House Publishers. I grabbed one of the volumes off the shelf and opened it up to see “Franklin, Tennessee” on the publisher’s page. One of Andy’s very rare volumes of Wesley’s writings in spanish is on the shelf in Guatemala…how did it get here and do they know it is a friend and member of my church who published this set???? I stumbled over my broken spanish while waving Franklin First UMC brochures and pointing: “Franklin, Tennessee”…brochure; “Franklin, Tennessee” book publishing…this is my hometown and a member of church!”
All I am saying is this: I quit wondering some time ago, “if” I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’ve started watching, instead, for the discoveries God offers me to assure me that God is where God is supposed to be! All I need to do is keep showing up. Today…I showed up snapping pictures of a bookshelf that held answers to questions I haven’t had time to ask. I call that amazing grace.
Life in the Deep End 