The Deep End

I was full of fears as a girl and the deep end of the pool was one of my weekly disasters.  To me the deep end of the pool was dark and scary.  You couldn’t see the bottom so anything could be lurking below.  The diving boards towered above leaving dark shadows hovering on the pool surface. I could see others out there but I could never imagine me being out there…not in “the deep end”.  In fact, sometimes watching others in the deep end made my fear increase.  They were confident and strong – I was weak and afraid.  How could I ever learn to play in the deep?  I stood in the shallow water and watched their joy from a distance.

The fact that I was a brand new swimmer didn’t help matters much.  Once during a day at the pool my mom told me swim “out to the rope” where an older and more confident swimmer waited to catch me. I was terrified but I did it, not really having much choice since Mom was encouraging/requiring me to move past my fears. (Where would we be without great Moms to encourage us?) I swam to the girl and she didn’t catch me!  She was sitting on the rope and lost her balance.  She tumbled over and left me gasping for air.   I was drowning!  The lifeguard, who also happened to be my swimming teacher, had to dive in and save me.  This experience solidified my fears and gave me a good excuse to stay out of the deep end as long as I could and most especially to never trust anyone to “catch me” again.

The deep end of the pool is a bit like being in the deep with Christ.  Our spiritual journeys can be scary, unknown and unpredictable.  It seems irresponsible to surrender all and trust God to “catch us” when we take risks and swim beyond our comfort zones.  Thankfully, the Lord has not allowed me to stay in the shallow end of the pool or of life.  I live in the deep end now…physically and spiritually. I no longer panic when I’m swimming in water above my head because I’ve learned how to float.  When I’m not sure what is going to happen next in life, I may get scared but I don’t lose hope.  I’ve learned that if I stay in the deep some amazing things are going to happen and this adventure with Christ is far greater than all my fears.  I’ve learned that I can trust Jesus to “catch me” and I continue to have a lot of practice in that area! This blog is about life in the deep end. It’s about fear, failure, redemption and hope. It’s about finding grace in the moment and living a life of Joy! Feel free to jump in and join me anytime.

Vona