#mercy – Page 2 – Life in the Deep End

Clearing the Dishes

April 7, 2023April 7, 2023Vona Wilson

The disciples came to the table to celebrate the Passover with Jesus. Even with the tensions obvious in his ministry, people still waved palm branches and shouted, “Hosanna!” as he entered Jerusalem. There was every reason for the disciples to be hopeful and excited to share in this ancient ritual with Christ. They were celebrating the Passover with the Messiah!

But things didn’t turn out the way they expected. Within their small group there is betrayal. One who is perhaps tired of things not moving along as he expected they should. One who has been offered a worldly reward that might help him achieve his personal goals. One who makes a permanent decision to ease a temporary discomfort. And Jesus accepts him at that table, all the while knowing that his heart has turned fully inward.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that were intended to be good, but there is a turning of events that changes that intent into a corrupted and destructive moment. The “crowd” begins to get louder and the pressures mount. We make decisions to appease others, even when our minds and spirits tell us, “This isn’t right”. It is a personal betrayal. It is a betrayal of our Creator who formed us in his image, gave us the ability to think, and intended for us to be in loving relationship with God and one another.

We don’t know who cleared the dishes after this Passover gathering. They would have found the basin of water with dirt and grime settled in the bottom. A wet towel on the floor or draped over a chair. Leftover bread and wine, perhaps. And an uneasy silence about what is unfolding. What was intended as a sacred ritual is the backdrop of the decision both to dip our fingers in the bowl with Christ and choose to betray.

The discomfort of the morning after is felt by all of us. The weight of our own sin. How eagerly we run to the moments of celebration and holy experiences; and how quickly we turn away when we realize humble surrender of our own power and plans is required. Jesus asked a pivotal question earlier when a few of the disciples were trying to ensure their positions as God’s kingdom is being fulfilled,

Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him
“What is it you want?” he asked.
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered.
Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.” (Matthew 20:20-23)

The two disciples are certain that they can “drink the cup” that Jesus is going to drink in that moment. But now, as the dishes are being cleared, it all looks different. The decisions of individuals have set things in motion. The push to condemn and remove this threatening Messiah increases. The devoted disciples begin to scatter and avoid the situation. What began with “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”, now reveals the depths of our ability to betray and destroy one another. The profound gift of grace that commands us to love is hidden from view.

Holy God, how do we stand in the memory of your story, and bear the reality of our own stories of betrayal right now? We get impatient with your timing. We easily turn to building our own empires and leave you on the sidelines. We are silent when we see things that are wrong. We are quick to condemn those who think differently than we do. We trade social media posts for authentic listening and relationship. We take matters into our own hands because we fail to trust that you are being faithful to fulfill your promises. Forgive us, Lord, for the many ways we betray you in our efforts to “do the right thing”. We are so unable to do the right thing within the messes we have created. And still, it is our desire to honor you. It is our intention to surrender our lives for your glory. We are completely powerless to do this, and we need your help. Come quickly Lord Jesus; make haste to help us. We do trust you, Lord; we trust you completely. Amen.

Church of St Peter in Gallicantu stands on the eastern slope of Mt Zion

Prayers & Practices of Surrender

Lord, I trust you with ________________________; I yield this situation or person(s) into your hands. (Read Psalm 118)

God of mercy, my eyes and mind are clouded by my own pain and certainty. I think I am right, but I know my understanding is limited. I welcome your Holy Spirit to open my eyes; I welcome you to renew my mind. I ask you, Lord, to make me whole again. Please set me on the rock that is higher than I. I need you and I yield to you. (Read Psalm 61)

Creator of All, we love you. Our world is reeling with grief and shame. The land cries out with the blood of so many. The sky witnesses our betrayals and destruction every moment of time, in every season. When we stop to look at one another, our own sin and pain is reflected in our neighbor’s eyes. It is so hard to accept that we stop looking. Help us, God, to see each other as you see. Help us to be in community as you want us to be. Let your perfect love, cast out our fear. Amen (Read I John 4)

Attend a Good Friday service today. Set aside your critique of those who tell the story. Just listen. Ponder. Receive. Sit with the reality of how we, as people who claim to love God, often respond when the kingdom of God comes near.

Evan Craft – Desesperado

What’s Shaking?

February 5, 2023Vona Wilson

Psalm 15
Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
Who may live on your holy mountain?

The one whose walk is blameless,
    who does what is righteous,
    who speaks the truth from their heart;

whose tongue utters no slander,
    who does no wrong to a neighbor,
    and casts no slur on others;

who despises a vile person
    but honors those who fear the Lord;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
    and does not change their mind;

who lends money to the poor without interest;
    who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

Whoever does these things
will never be shaken. (NIV)

At a time when it often feels like everything is being “shaken”, the words of this ancient prayer land differently for me. I’m reading it silently and then out loud. My pen is underlining words to sear the wisdom a little deeper.

No slander. No slur. No wrong to a neighbor. Speaking truth from the heart. Keeping an oath even when it hurts. What a different experience we would all have if we intentionally practice what is contained in the five verses of this prayer! But not just a “different experience” …

The Scripture says there will be dwelling in the holy space.

The result is not that challenges and difficulty cease. The result is not being shaken by the difficulties that are part of this life. “Whoever does these things will never be shaken.”

Jesus urged his disciples to “abide” in him. Stay connected. Let’s dwell together. “Apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) That is the way that leads us into the holy space.

A practice that may assist when we feel the desire to say or do what we know is harmful, is simply to name that with the Lord, and ask for help to not act in destructive ways. If the slurs and slander of another are not acted upon, the harm is not spread. Speaking to God or a trusted spiritual friend about our feelings allows us a holy space of confession. A space where Christ meets us and works on our hearts. We work it together. We clear what doesn’t need to set up dwelling; we let go so we can receive what is good.

The blessing in the holy space of confession is found in another prayer, Psalm 32. Read it here: https://bit.ly/holyspace

Keeping an oath may hurt, breaking covenant destroys. The LORD is the one who redeems. If life is shaking you right now, reach out for the one whose hand is already reaching for you. Your Creator can be trusted.

Lord, as we pray this prayer together with the words of Psalm 15, give us grace to live with you and in you. Thank you for receiving us as we are and restoring us to the wholeness you gave your life for us to have. We love you, Lord, and we trust you completely. Amen.

“I Have Something to Tell You”

January 8, 2023January 8, 2023Vona Wilson

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, Teacher”, he said. Luke 7:40

There is nothing quite like Jesus knocking us off our high horse. Sometimes I get tickled at how quickly we humans (me at the front of the line) place ourselves in the role of God. Yes…God. Jesus serves at the will and direction of God. He walks the earth and embodies what it looks like and feels like to walk with and follow God. He doesn’t create his own plan and agenda. He seeks, listens, and follows. Hour by hour. Day by day.

His anguish is evident in his sorrow. His deep pain and courage take him into that quiet place of prayer and seeking again and again. The hope and delight of Christ show up when he proclaims God’s justice and love. Jesus sees the potential. Jesus desires to show people the kingdom God is fulfilling on earth. He wants it for everyone. He connects the dots of how God works over long periods of history. Some receive it. Some reject it. Some wait to see what happens next. Many are unaware at all; no one is living it in front of them. How could they know?

I am struck by the encounters Jesus has in Luke 7, particularly with two people. First, the Centurion whose son is ill and at risk of dying; read his story here in Luke 7: https://bit.ly/centurionstory And secondly, the “sinful woman” who shows up unwanted nor invited. Perhaps she comes spiritually ill and at risk of dying. It’s not precisely clear; she just comes. Read her story here in Luke 7: https://bit.ly/unexpectedmercy

Two totally different people. One is highly respected by many people. The other evokes feelings of disgust and words of condemnation simply by her presence. Jesus notices something about both, and he responds.

The Centurion and the sinful woman have two things in common:
1. Something in their lives is happening that they cannot fix.
2. They believe that God can fix it. (Jesus calls this faith)

With the Centurion, all his great work and reputation are not enough to cure his son’s illness. He can command many things in this life, but he cannot control this. Although he is not Jewish, nor is he known by others as a “follower” of Jesus in this context, he recognizes who Jesus is and the reverence he is to be given. He knows that at the command of Jesus, his son will be restored.

There a centurion’s servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant. When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, “This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue.”So Jesus went with them.

He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: “Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof.That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed.For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” – Luke 7:2-8

Unlike the Centurion who has a stellar and well-earned reputation, the sinful woman’s life must be a complete mess. Even so, she still knows exactly how to approach Jesus. She comes with the hospitality that is due this important guest. The hospitality that is part of being human – extending true care and love. The same grace and hospitality Abraham offered the “visitors” who came to his tent at Mamre. Genesis 18:1-5 read it here: https://bit.ly/holyhospitality

The woman also comes with great emotion and love; she is completely humble before him. Are her tears the tears of shame and sorrow or are they, rather, expressions of deep gratitude for what she has already received? Either way, she comes vulnerable and trusting of the one for whom her hands and heart reach.

When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” Luke 7:36-39

Simon, the Pharisee who has invited Jesus over for supper, is confident about the woman’s sin. He knows from his lifelong study that sin doesn’t belong. His inner voice is questioning the credibility of Jesus simply because Jesus allows her to be this close to him. Simon is concentrating on assessment and right judgement, something he is expected to do. Jesus must love Simon so much. He offers to teach him something he doesn’t yet know about God.

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, Teacher”, he said.

I never get tired of the spiritual lessons that are offered us in the midst of ordinary life. Whether reminding, sharpening, or revealing something we’ve not seen before…the Spirit of God is faithful to teach us.

Both of these stories end with something that leaves the people (and us) pondering the response of Jesus. He never goes to the Centurion’s house to heal his son, but his son is healed. He never points out the sin of the woman, but he announces that it is her faith that saves her, and she departs with peace.

And what about Simon? Jesus meets him where he is: a faithful religious leader exercising wisdom and judgment, yet missing something critical. Jesus tells him a story where he can think and discern. And then Simon receives a teaching from Jesus that will assist him in his work and ministry should he choose to use it:

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:44-47

Jesus responds to Simon’s inner thoughts…Simon never actually speaks them out loud. But Jesus hears his inner voice. The woman never blurts out the sin that is still being held against her, but her devotion and love speak all that Jesus wants to hear. She needs to express these acts of love and devotion to Christ. Her forgiveness is maturing into love.

What mattered for the Centurion was not how good he was or how respected he was by his community. Reputation and personal integrity are wonderful things to have, but they couldn’t heal his son. What made his encounter so profound was his deep reverence for who Jesus is, God in the flesh. He believed Jesus could do what he could not, and he reached out in faith.

We don’t need the details of the “sinful woman’s” story because her actions to and with Jesus are where he encourages us to focus. She loves him with gracious hospitality. She loves him without restraint. She loves him completely. While Simon is not able to see it, even with his educated and devoted life, Jesus teaches him to look for something different: the way she loves. When he sees the way she loves, he will see she is forgiven and accepted by God.

I do wonder about this.

With what reverence and humility do we approach God?
Have we left space for God to teach us as we are going about our lives?

How do we approach the one who, in the beginning, created every living creature and thing on earth and called it good? How do we come to the one who literally gives us our breath and will hold us when our breath on earth is no longer?

Do we come to Jesus ready to learn and see something more than we’ve known?

What are we looking for in ourselves or in others?

Step 2 from The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous^[1] echoes in my ear: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

Both the Centurion and the “sinful woman” believe that God is the power that restores what is broken. It is Jesus, who just happens to be in the neighborhood. Perhaps Simon is coming to believe as well. Powerless to see anything but sin, he opens himself to be taught by the Christ who dines at his table. “Tell me, Teacher”, he said.

Holy God, please tell us too. We need to learn from Jesus too. We need a power greater than ourselves to restore us to sanity. We need you. Amen.

^[1] Alcoholics anonymous big book (4th ed.). (2002). Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.

The Blessings

October 3, 2022October 3, 2022Vona Wilson

The crowd must have been intrigued when Jesus started speaking words of blessing. Many of them had come to know of a God that is all condemning. Grace and mercy were in short supply in the 1^st century. Rhetoric and false proclamations were rampant. Fear, greed, and the need to be in “control”, were everywhere.

In the middle of great tension and chaos – Jesus, the Messiah, shows up with a different message. He, himself, shows up with an attitude and countenance that people have not seen or experienced. Jesus shows up with good news for many who are ready and in need of good news. The Christ comes to offer truth:

^3“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
¹¹“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
– Matthew 5:3-11

These blessings are still true today. Where mercy is given, mercy will be received. The hunger and thirst for holiness, will be filled. Where grief is heavy and raw, the Lord will bring comfort in just the way it is needed. When a person comes with peace among you, they are present as a child of God. Even when insults and falseness are spread about those following Christ, these words are no hindrance to the fulfillment of the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven.

Where do you find yourself today? As one in need of a blessing, or one who is equipped to offer it to someone else? Perhaps both; or maybe to simply remember these words that Jesus wanted the people to hear. Words of truth and blessing that Christ wants us to hear again today.

Lord, we forget how different your ways are in our world. The other voices around us are so loud! Thank you for speaking into our lives with truth that brings peace. Thank you for reminding us of how you bring grace and justice; it is so different from the ways we expect it to come. Today, where there is need of blessing, please bring it with abundance. Enter into those crevices and corners of our pain and despair; make yourself known to the brokenhearted. And Father, where you have equipped us to be an avenue of your blessing, we surrender ourselves into your hands for that purpose and for your glory. We love you Lord, and we trust you completely. Thank you for the blessings that Jesus continues to offer our lives. Amen.

Prayer for Tonight

February 25, 2022February 25, 2022Vona Wilson

¹I call on the Lord in my distress,
    and he answers me.
²Save me, Lord,
    from lying lips
    and from deceitful tongues.

³What will he do to you,
    and what more besides,
    you deceitful tongue?
⁴He will punish you with a warrior’s sharp arrows,
    with burning coals of the broom bush.

⁵Woe to me that I dwell in Meshek,
    that I live among the tents of Kedar!
⁶Too long have I lived
    among those who hate peace.
⁷I am for peace;
    but when I speak, they are for war. – Psalm 120 (NIV)

Sometimes the Psalms give us words to offer when we have none. They give us voice in prayer, lament and hope. The prayers of the people all over the world are what unite us tonight. We are calling on our Creator God for divine help; for peace that only God can bring.

Holy God, for all who are in need of your peace tonight, please rush in closely and quickly to each one. We ask humbly and boldly for the resurrected Christ to stand in the midst of people seeking shelter; in the middle of streets where war is raging. We pray the resurrected Christ is standing near each leader and decision maker giving them wisdom and discernment; correcting when it is needed and giving courage that is beyond anything we can create. We pray that our own hearts and spirits remain steadfast, humble and faithful in all the ways you call us to be present in this time. And we ask, Holy God, that you help us to always be instruments of your peace in every place we are right now. We are not people who wage war. Amen.

Statue of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. @ Abbey of Gethsemane in KY.

PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS – Sarah McLachlan

Lunes por la Mañana en Guatemala

January 31, 2022Vona Wilson

Rooster calls across the dark morning tell me to rise, a new day has come. Before the people move or I can launch my mind to the work ahead, every bird, animal and plant is making a clear claim of praise for the faithful rise of the son. Villancico; song of praise. Santa Maria is invisible; the clouds shield any human sight of her presence. Nublado.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
This is what the ancients were commended for. – Hebrews 11:1

Morning Prayer
God, thank you for the creation that never ceases to praise you for the morning’s arrival. You have ordained another day; you speak it into being for all creatures. And whether we wake with heaviness or joy – you are here with us. Please walk with us wherever our steps trod today, we need you. Clear our minds of fear and shame. Remove the weight of worry. Fill our spirits with your grace and mercy. Remind us that we were created with your love, and we cannot destroy what you are making whole. Where we are broken – keep mending and restoring. When we are moving too fast – redeem within us your pace. Wherever love needs to pour over our wounds, we welcome your presence however you come. We trust you completely. Let it be. Amen.

The Morning Peace

September 30, 2021Vona Wilson

I don’t know what it is that
rushes me
But sometimes yes, it rushes me,
and hurls me into a day where
I begin already behind
not quite ready
and concerned….
sometimes about something
I can’t even name.

And then –
I catch you in the periphery
a glance across the room.
Where light is changing, even rising
and I have to pause and see.

It was a fleeting moment
impossible to hold
A glance to remind me I am loved
and you are still creating days
of grace for us to discover together.
You are here.

God, help us pause long enough to
catch your glance from across
whatever distance you come today. Amen.

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob in our fortress.
Psalm 46:10-11

The Night Mercy

September 21, 2021September 21, 2021Vona Wilson

Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”; and their sight was restored.
Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew 9:29

Two blind men start following Jesus and just as soon as he goes inside they present themselves to him. They ask for mercy…neither of them can see; they are blind. They knew Jesus could restore what they had lost. They were confident that mercy was available. So they humbled themselves enough to ask for what they needed.

We don’t know exactly why, but the way Matthew tells the story, Jesus warned them not to tell anyone. He may have hoped to stay under the radar a little longer. But they couldn’t hold it in; they told everyone in the area. It was not the discreet healing Jesus may have hoped it would be. Getting free of something that is holding you back from seeing is pretty awesome; of course they wanted to tell!

We can lose sight in a lot of ways. Sometimes we have blind spots that prevent us from moving in the direction we need to go. Maybe we can’t see our way out of a situation or just simply don’t know how to take a step into the unknown. The mercy of Christ is present; we need only ask.

The night is a good time to ask for God’s mercy. The day rolls back through our minds and occasionally lingers in moments of regret or worry. We don’t have to carry it into our sleep. It’s OK to ask for what we need. We can trust the Spirit to sort out the details. Ask for mercy. Name what’s weighing on your heart and mind. Trust that everything is going to be OK, because God is holding you in the asking. God really is holding you. God is holding us.

Lord, have mercy on me.
For the moments I didn’t pause to see you…
restore my sight and sense of your presence.
For the words said too harshly, or words not said at all…
Lord, bring grace to cover the gaps.
For the worries stacking up on my shoulders and the situations I can’t fix…
Lord, please take it all into your hands.
You are our Peace. Amen.

Moments of Faithful Risk

June 29, 2021June 29, 2021Vona Wilson

“While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. “ – Matthew 26:6-7

Bethany is the town where Lazarus and his sisters lived, but in this situation, the meal is at Simon’s house. It is the most unexpected house to host a meal. Simon was known as a “leper” until he was healed by Christ. Now he is hosting a meal for Jesus.

The woman that comes with the expensive perfume is named as “Mary” when John writes his account of this story (John 12:3). She must have been saving this perfume for just the right situation and time. It is valuable. Somehow she knew (by God’s grace and a nudge of the Spirit?) that this is the time, this is the moment, for her to give it. She chooses to give it all to Jesus. She doesn’t know why, she just knows she is supposed to offer it.

The disciples – the followers of Jesus – are appalled. It is too extravagant; a waste. Jesus is pleased; she obeyed the nudge of the Spirit and did something that involved her in his story of redemption. God’s plans are fulfilled. This woman’s offer of love and devotion prepares Jesus to offer his greatest gift of love: to lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13)

We know Christ’s sacrifice is near; and we know resurrection is coming. His preparation and her involvement in his journey of obedience…these are moments of faithful risk. In the kingdom of God we take risks to love across societal norms, boundaries that limit access to Christ, and even fears whether they are real or imagined.

We return to the neighborhood today and knock on doors to invite the children to come out for “Bible Club”. Some will say yes. Some will wait for another day. We will teach the Bible stories, play games and sing. Love, friendship and joy will be shared, if even for a few short hours of the day.

I do wonder… Is it possible that we, who are so deeply distracted with our busy lives, are bringing “perfume” to the neighborhood? Or is it much more likely that Jesus finds us in Simon, the Leper, and asks us to come into the neighborhood and be healed so we can serve others with him?

Jesus is grateful for the woman’s lavish love. He says this moment is so important that every time this story is told, her act of faith and love will be shared. He wanted us to know this. She took the risk of walking into a setting where women were not typically welcomed. She gave her greatest gift and it prepared him for his. How are you giving your best for Christ?

Prayer
God help us to walk humbly as we go through your neighborhoods today. Heal in us whatever keeps us from loving and serving you freely. We have no good apart from you so please come near. We love you. We trust you completely. Thank you for trusting and loving us enough to bring us here with you.

Serving with our youth group in Memphis. The joy of witnessing what God is doing in our teenagers is a gift. Being with children in the neighborhood is just finding where Jesus is already and joining the miracle. Grateful.

Our Dads

June 20, 2021June 20, 2021Vona Wilson

I was blessed with two of them. My “Dad”, is the one who raised me and taught me to love animals, take risks and that you don’t have to answer every question. I learned unconditional love from him because God showed me how to love when it made no sense. I would not be the person I am today if Dad had not been who he was.

Over time I realized that my dad’s suffering was what helped teach me unconditional love. And boundaries. And some stuff I’d rather not have learned. But there is so much more that I am so grateful to have learned! Things like: It is OK to bite if you get backed into a corner. You can always drive in snow; go slow and watch out for the other guy. If you want to eat you better damn well make sure you have a job. And sometimes your dreams get fulfilled in ways you didn’t expect, but that is OK, just go with it.

My second blessing was my stepfather, who married my mom many years after I was an adult. He fell in love. She fell in love. They decided to make a life together. For all the years of their marriage (20+) he loved her so well. She loved him so well. I suppose without the stresses of raising children or paying mortgages, their marriage was truly a refuge and delight for later years. He was the most gracious man I’ve ever known. Never in a hurry. Always interested in what was going on in our lives. And he loved our mom.

Their marriage blessed me with extra siblings, and most of all it blessed me to experience what joy and delight can come when you least expect it. In the last year of his life there were a few health challenges. I was in their home for an overnight visit once when I woke up to someone singing. It was my mom. She was serving him breakfast on a tray, and she was singing to him as she entered the room, “Good morning! Good morning!” I could hear the love in her voice. I could see the appreciation and love on his face. They did their last season together so very well.

I think dads have a tough job. When I finally “grew up” and experienced some big falls myself, I realized that my dad did the very best he could with his life. He was a very tough man. And broken, like all of us. His heartaches and life griefs were overwhelming. But he continued. It wasn’t always smooth or what he imagined, but he persisted until he took his very last breath. And then he was free.

I know Dad could have given up and stopped living at many different points in his life. But he didn’t. He kept going. And because he kept going, we did too. We kept learning about love and mercy and grace. We kept asking God to show us how to navigate the days, and God was faithful to help us. We all just kept living and doing the very best we could with what we had to live with – including our broken selves!

Both of my fathers are in heaven tonight. They have no pain or sorrow. And anything that was not resolved on earth for either of them, has been completely resolved in heaven. I’m so grateful they were both chosen to be my dad and stepfather. I’m so glad we lived all the way until their very last breath, and we lived fully. It is a gift I always cherish, and a gift that never stops bearing fruit.

A Night Prayer on Father’s Day
Holy God, thank you for our dads. We never need them to be perfect, we just need them to be our dads. So please give all fathers an extra measure of your love, wisdom and care. Please remind them of your mercy and grace that is always available and give them courage to ask you for it. Most of all, as this day comes to an end, please cover all dads with your great compassion, and please cover all of their children with your steadfast love. Thank you, gracious God, for being our perfect father, and for giving us our imperfect and amazing dads. Amen.

It’s Always Been You – Phil Wickham