Life in the Deep End

Where Is the Trail?

May 3, 2022Vona Wilson

Hiking always brings a risk of not being able to find the trail. It happens to nearly everyone. You plan the hike, you watch your map, you follow the trial signs. And then…often without warning…the trail just seems to disappear. The signs are not visible. No hint in any direction. You look up and you simply don’t know where to go! Then what?

My spring hikes have been full of beauty and a couple of them have also included moments of not being able to find the trail. Perhaps it’s true that the more you hike, the more often you’ll have this experience. I’m not sure, but I’ll admit, it’s happened to me several times. I love to hike so I’ve learned to accept the reality that part of the adventure does include the occasional angst that comes with losing the trail.

But I don’t have to like that part; right? It is such an exercise in patience, strategy, and trust. Experience is a great teacher. Still, whether you’ve been hiking two years or seventy years, sometimes you’re going to look up and say, “where is the trail?’

Four things I do pretty much every time I lose sight of the trail:

1. Stop and look at my surroundings. There is a trail, I just need to see it again. Pay attention to exactly where I am in that moment. Listen. Look.
2. Check the map. Does anything on the map match what I’m seeing around me? Does anything on the map match what I’m hearing…like water or other hikers nearby?
3. Pray: “Lord, help me see the trail.”
4. Backtrack some steps, if possible, that return me to a trail marker or path that clearly marks the way. Stop often and check. Look and listen.

Sometimes trusting the signs is hard if that little wind of doubt has entered my mind. Careful, attentive steps in the direction of those signs, is a way to keep moving, or to simply not panic! Hiking with a friend or group, or simply engaging others you find on the trail obviously makes “seeing” or finding the trail a lot easier.

There was one moment in a recent hike when we had to backtrack. Within moments we ran upon other hikers on the same trail. We went forward together and with their different eyes and assistance, we finally identified the trail. It was well disguised but it was also clear once we found it.

Relieved and encouraged, we all traveled on our way with gratitude. And we were all reminded: the signs aren’t always easy to see; we need each other.

For me, hiking has always been one of the ways God teaches me and reminds me of things I need for my journey through life. I am encouraged by the way God so carefully created beauty and nature.

The dance of spring flowers in the woods

Ferns and flowers: new life emerging after winter

I am sharpened by the friends that journey with me. Their companionship, conversation, and challenge often help me hear my own voice a little clearer. Compassion and wisdom are nurtured along the way.

I am restored in the solitude and magnificence of God’s creation. The God who created all of this, is surely watching over me! God is watching over us. Faith and trust are strengthened; humility comes.

God’s presence with us doesn’t mean that life will always be easy. Life is challenging and heartbreaking; it is amazingly beautiful and full of unexpected miracles.

God’s presence with us means we are never alone and there is a trail. Sometimes we just need a little help to see it. Occasionally we are even asked to help blaze it.

If you are in a moment or a season that has you asking, “where is the trail?”, take a deep breath. You are not alone. There is a trail and you will find it. One faithful step at a time.

God, please open our eyes to see the trail you have provided. We especially struggle to see when it looks different than we expected. Help us to embrace the adventure of discovery! We love you and we trust you completely. Thank you for loving us.

Trusted Teacher

March 25, 2022Vona Wilson

Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. – Jesus in the Gospel of John 15:4-5.

Jesus gives some last instructions and words of wisdom to his disciples before he is arrested. He reminds them that the time they have shared together and all that he has been teaching them has prepared them for all that is to come. There is a caveat to the work ahead. If the disciples want to be involved in what God is doing on earth, they must abide in Christ. They must stay as close to Christ as a branch is with a vine. That’s pretty close.

Abiding doesn’t mean performing for approval. A branch does not perform and then look back to see if the vine approves or not. Nor does a branch disconnect from the vine and do anything that replaces the nutrients, power, and life that the vine gives. When a branch disconnects from its vine, it eventually dies. Abiding in Christ means living in and with that connection. It is life itself, breathing in and breathing out moment by moment. It is not a program or mandate; it is a way of being alive.

There is freedom abiding in Christ. We are not alone. We do not have the world resting on our shoulders. We are in this life with Christ. We are drawing from the strength and love of the one who came to earth for us! Not to harm us, but to show us what it looks like when the love of God is fully in human form.

Jesus, our trusted teacher, came to help us experience a different way. Our trusted teacher came to save us from distorted truths and a hijacked religious hierarchy that had lost connection with God’s loving intention for our lives on earth. Jesus came to redeem all these things and to fulfill the kingdom of God on earth. What a gift our Creator gave the world – and continues to give us every day.

The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. – Jesus in the Gospel of John 10:10

We seem be in a constant stream of focusing on a group of people and literally tearing them apart with our opinions, judgements, and disappointments. We’ve seen it happen with law enforcement, teachers, doctors, nurses, and numerous other groups. A mistake by one person becomes a condemnation of everyone. An error that needs forgiveness and justice becomes a pass to never trust anyone again.

It may be that the noise of it all begins to make us think there are no trusted sources in a world that really needs wisdom to navigate through the circumstances of daily life. Hear the good news: Jesus is a trusted teacher. Jesus is the son of God; the Messiah the prophets said would come; the resurrected Christ that is with us even now. The teaching he shared while he was on earth is trustworthy. It is a teaching that sets us free. The way God continues to teach and guide us through the Holy Spirit is trustworthy. Abiding in Christ helps us remain tethered to that stream of wisdom.

I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. – Jesus in the Gospel of John 15:11

Check out more of what Jesus said by reading the 15^th chapter of John: https://bit.ly/3wT9pkf

Three simple ways to practice “abiding” in Christ right now:

Read from the Gospels several times a week or even daily. Start small. Ready for five minutes. Read a chapter. When you finish all four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), start back and begin again. We need to be reminded daily of these teachings. It provides focus and food for our spirit.
Ask God to hold you close to the vine of Christ. Simple & powerful prayers:
“God, please keep me close to Christ today”.
“Lord, help me to walk faithfully through this day.”
“Jesus, come right away; I need help!”
“Christ, you are my vine; I am your branch; let it be.”
Do one small act of kindness for someone. It can be as simple as saying, “I love you” to people in your household; taking a bouquet of spring flowers to a friend or stranger; thanking someone for their service (waiter; store attendant; co-worker; teacher; etc.); listen to the one who needs to simply say their things. Anonymous kindness strengthens the spirit. Known kindness strengthens relationships. It’s always good to intentionally be kind to others. How can you be kind to someone today?

Lord, when your ways are so different from ours, it is probably going to be hard for us to see. Please draw each of us and all of us near to you so when you teach us, we are able to comprehend. We want to abide in you, and we need you. We love you, Lord, and we trust you completely. You are our trusted teacher; our Savior; our friend. Amen.

My Trust in the Lord – Psalm 11

Trusted Surrender

March 22, 2022Vona Wilson

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:34-38

Jesus says these words right after he and Peter have a very tense moment. They exchange some heated words. Jesus is giving his disciples a heads up about what he is soon to face: arrest and crucifixion. It sounds like pure evil and failure to Peter; he disagrees with the approach Jesus is taking. After an immediate response that rebukes Peter, Jesus pauses to offer this word…this teaching. Just so we know – the way we enter the abundant life involves surrender.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

God works in our lives and in the world differently than we often expect. Part of following Christ is humbling ourselves enough to listen, to watch, and to discern how God is guiding us. It often means receiving teaching or instruction that is beyond our understanding – but that we choose to accept and trust God with it. In truth, the teaching of Jesus is often over our heads! It rubs up against what we want to hold onto, or even what makes sense in the world. It causes us to squirm a bit and hope no one notices how much he shows us that we simply ignore.

Denying ourselves can be giant steps of bold surrender. It can also be tiny steps of faithfulness for today. It can be a step. Today. We all have different things in our lives that could use some surrendering. For Peter (see Mark 8:31-33), it is surrendering his attitude and confidence that he can adequately judge what Jesus needs to do. Peter is basically telling Jesus, “You have this wrong…let me tell you how we’re going to handle this situation.”

We do kind of have a problem with thinking we know what God needs to do and how it needs to be done. Surrendering is not placing our brains on pause or acting recklessly with our resources. It is, however, being fully aware that we need to listen for God’s guidance and to follow it with humbleness and trust. Surrendering – or yielding – means we make space in our lives for God to speak.

What does that look like? What it looks like for you is probably different than it looks like for someone else. How are you providing space for God to speak into your daily life? What wisdom are you reaching for to give you guidance? Is it the wisdom of God or the loudest voices that are pushing their way into your vulnerable moments?

Denying ourselves during the season of Lent is intended to develop spiritual muscle for the journey of faith. That muscle serves us in times of vulnerability. It helps us realign our minds and spirits; it sets our feet on solid ground. Whether the practice of surrender comes in denying ourselves a food we crave or spending 15 minutes a day being quiet and unplugged from technology, every step we take toward God is a way of saying, “I yield my way to your way, Jesus.”

God, we are all in different situations, but we share a deep need for you. We get caught up in our ways of handling life’s challenges and we often miss how you are moving among us. When we seek you today, please reveal yourself in whatever way each person needs to experience you to know that you are right here, walking with us. Strengthen us for the journey. We yield our lives to you. We love you, Lord, and we trust you completely.

TobyMac Lose My Soul

Winter’s Last Dance?

March 14, 2022Vona Wilson

My grandfather always said to wait until after Easter before counting on winter weather to be finished. Like any good farmer, he held even that with open hands, often reminding us that God is the one who created the world, and we don’t control the sun and the rain. A farmer works on faith and prayer in all efforts. A good approach for a Monday morning!

Was this winter’s last dance? I don’t know, but it was beautiful.

I am always fascinated by how quickly nature adapts to changing conditions. I don’t see resistance or hear complaint. Life persists fully and confidently forward.

Monday Prayer
Lord, you are our dwelling place. Wherever we are and whatever the conditions of the day, we need you to order our steps. Give us courage to walk into the week with confidence of your presence, and trusting that in your presence there is fullness of joy and life everlasting. We believe in YOU. Where life is overwhelming, please come quickly Lord to assist. Thank you for your faithfulness in all seasons. We pray in the name of the resurrected Christ, Amen.

You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; and in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
– Psalm 16:11

Prayer for Tonight

February 25, 2022February 25, 2022Vona Wilson

¹I call on the Lord in my distress,
    and he answers me.
²Save me, Lord,
    from lying lips
    and from deceitful tongues.

³What will he do to you,
    and what more besides,
    you deceitful tongue?
⁴He will punish you with a warrior’s sharp arrows,
    with burning coals of the broom bush.

⁵Woe to me that I dwell in Meshek,
    that I live among the tents of Kedar!
⁶Too long have I lived
    among those who hate peace.
⁷I am for peace;
    but when I speak, they are for war. – Psalm 120 (NIV)

Sometimes the Psalms give us words to offer when we have none. They give us voice in prayer, lament and hope. The prayers of the people all over the world are what unite us tonight. We are calling on our Creator God for divine help; for peace that only God can bring.

Holy God, for all who are in need of your peace tonight, please rush in closely and quickly to each one. We ask humbly and boldly for the resurrected Christ to stand in the midst of people seeking shelter; in the middle of streets where war is raging. We pray the resurrected Christ is standing near each leader and decision maker giving them wisdom and discernment; correcting when it is needed and giving courage that is beyond anything we can create. We pray that our own hearts and spirits remain steadfast, humble and faithful in all the ways you call us to be present in this time. And we ask, Holy God, that you help us to always be instruments of your peace in every place we are right now. We are not people who wage war. Amen.

Statue of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. @ Abbey of Gethsemane in KY.

PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS – Sarah McLachlan

Hope in the Mourning

February 23, 2022Vona Wilson

People make such profound marks on our lives. We are changed by those relationships, often pruned into stronger and more beautiful persons. Last year, on Feb 23^rd, one of those people in my life made the transition from earth to eternity. His name is Cesar Muñoz, of Quetzaltenango in Guatemala. He is the wife of Sonia; the father of Mariairene, Lucia and David.

It was during a difficult time of the pandemic. I could not go to be with the family. I was not able to mourn with them in all the ways I wanted to share in their grief. When the celebration of his life was held and a community gathered, though limited because of COVID, I celebrated from a very long distance – about 2300 miles away. I shared this experience with thousands of people across the world who were burying and celebrating the lives of people they loved that ceased to be present on earth during this pandemic.

Recently I was able to return to Guatemala and be with my family and friends who are still grieving the absence of husband, father, and friend. We told stories and cried tears. We went to the place where he was buried (an important ritual for me) and I was able to touch the place where he and other family members’ bodies rest in the earth. The time was sacred for all of us.

We are people of faith, so we speak words of hope at the site where these bodies lay. We speak of the fruit that remains from Cesar’s life and the anticipation of a joyful reunion that will one day come for us. The stories we share here are blessings. Our spirits are strengthened.

Cesar was a friend and mentor. He was a partner in the work our church has the honor of being involved with @ ACD Guatemala. He spoke wisdom into my life on numerous occasions and we shared many joys at his table. And totally unexpectedly, we became family when my cousin married his daughter. At that time, the “family” we had been becoming through our shared work with God, became “officially” a family that united all of us forever.

Today I give thanks for Cesar’s life on earth and the impact he made on all of our lives. Every day we see the fruit that lasts from his time here. For all who have experienced death, grief and celebration of life during the time of this pandemic, I pray that you know that time and distance is nothing in the eyes of God. As you pray, as you mourn, as you laugh and cry and celebrate – it is all in perfect timing when our hearts and spirits are one in Christ. I pray this brings you peace.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. – Jesus in the Gospel of John 15:16

God, thank you for the lives that so deeply touch ours and bless us. May your peace be with all who grieve, and may you continue to grant us all glimpses of eternity, so our hope remains steadfast and strong. Thank you for the life of your people on earth! Give us humility and courage to serve in ways that bear the fruit that lasts…for your glory and not our own. Amen.

Kari Jobe The Garden

Monday Prayer

February 21, 2022Vona Wilson

The morning peace arrives differently for all of us. But it still arrives. God is faithful. I pray God shows up for you in exactly the way you need today.

God bring peace to bedsides where people are making transition. Let the presence of the resurrected Christ standing guard with them be very clear today.

Bring peace to the people we love who are healing. Let their cells receive nutrients and care; let their blood flow richly through their bodies; fill their lungs with your breath of life and sooth the rhythm of every heartbeat. Free their minds from anxiety and fear. Thank you for equipping the medical teams with your healing grace. May their compassion and skill be guided by you.

Give strength to the ones who are weary but still face the day of long hours. Equip every person for each call and task. Cover them with safety and give wisdom in decisions.

Please grant rest to those who have a holiday and slower pace. Give them joy and restoration however they need it.

Where hope is needed, merciful God, please provide the flame that causes us to catch our breath and say, “it must be the presence of Lord with us!”

Thank you for the creative ways you respond when we ask for help. Open our spirits to see you and receive. We trust you, Lord, and we love you. Thank you for being right here!

Bearing Burdens

February 7, 2022Vona Wilson

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
– Galatians 6:2

A late-night fatality revealed to me the burden I was choosing to help carry. My Paramedic partner set up with me all night as sleep couldn’t come while I was processing the trauma and death of an accident scene. It was more than just this call; it was also the reality that we would respond to many of these 911 calls. We would help many, save some lives… and many would also not survive.

My partner couldn’t take that burden away from me, nor fix it so I would not have anything to carry. What my fellow Paramedic did that night was bear the burden with me.

Listening and being with one another when we are carrying heavy loads allows us to experience grace. We are given the space to speak the jumbled and jagged feelings that come with being human. We are heard.

In those moments of sharing, we are freed from the oppressive weight, and it gives us strength to continue the journey. It is not magic; it often does not remove the burden, but it is lighter, and we are no longer alone.

What my EMS partner did for me in that very early season of my Paramedic days, helped me understand that unless I processed this along with the way, I wouldn’t be able to make the 1000’s of more calls that were waiting ahead in my career. I had my own pain being in the middle of others’ trauma and death. I would have to heal as I went along.

When I reported for my next 24 hour shift and opened my locker, I discovered a large paper rolled up and placed inside.

That was 1982 and the poster still hangs where I can see it often enough to not forget this way Christ calls us to be in the world. We need each other, and sometimes that is just listening to the deep of another’s heart. Vulnerability is hard. And it is healing. Listening takes time and it is a form of serving. Healing happens when both are present.

Jesus is the one who removes burdens. We are the ones who carry our loads and are blessed if someone else is there to help us bear the weight. Who is there for you? Don’t hesitate to let them near enough to assist. Jesus promises to help us, and sometimes that promise is fulfilled by the person God places in our path.

Recently a friend created a piece of art for me; it sits on my desk, always in sight. She didn’t know of the gift I’d been given so many years ago. But God knew…and perhaps never wants me to forget.

Galatians 6:2 is written on the bottom of this stone art. Dec 2021.

Lord, thank you for making sure I never forget who I’m called to be on earth. Thank you for the friends who help me bear the heavy loads in my life, and the special ways they are present. Whenever life is hard, please equip us to step into those moments and love as deeply as you love us. You call us to do it more and more. Perhaps it heals us all. Amen.

Breaking Open

February 3, 2022Vona Wilson

The first time I traveled to Central America I was studying: “Spirituality in Third World Countries”. It was 2004. Nicaragua. I stood in streets filled with waste, spend the night on coffee farms to learn their practice and got my taste of making tortillas over a wood stove. I also rested in beautiful places and watched the sunset in Leon.

I learned about the fireworks and made peace with the rooster’s adamant heralding of the morning. I shared conversations with strangers and made new friends. We met with religious and political leaders and witnessed firsthand the realities of another culture and people. Something broke open in me during that experience and it’s been breaking open ever since.

My heart has grown. My mind has been sharpened. I have learned hard things and have watched beautiful cultures turn into dark spaces of suffering, while others emerged with hope, strength, and humility. My spirit has been pruned and shaped for something much bigger than me. I hope, on most days, it is shaped and breathing in a way that honors my Creator.

A lot of things break us open. Experiences leave us wide eyed and surprised. Grief and sorrow take our breath away and make it hard to live through the next hour. Beauty breaks us open. Love breaks us open. God breaks us open. Marriage, divorce, death, birth, illness, strength…all so incredibly intimate; breaking us wide open while also making us whole.

If you are breaking open today – may God give you peace to know that you are not alone. Help is on the way. Ask!
If you are celebrating a joy you can’t contain – I hope you see Jesus’ hand reaching out and inviting you to dance. Do it!
If you are surviving one day at a time – know that the plans God has for you are for good and not for harm .Trust this!

We are given life to live. Live fully. When beauty is present, make time to appreciate it. When you or someone you love is hurting – sit in the valley with them; your presence is enough. We are doing this life together – the sorrow and the joy; it is a gift. Above all, remember that you are loved.

A few photos this morning as a prayer offering.

Perfect Timing

February 3, 2022Vona Wilson

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
– Proverbs 16:3

Following the Spirit is always an adventure. One of my discernment tests goes like this:
If we believe that God’s timing is perfect…
If we rely on divine wisdom to guide our path and move us along the journey as it needs to be.
If we trust that the one who created us loves us…
then when things don’t work out like we hoped they might,
we can have peace that God still holds that too.
We don’t get to know all the reasons why.

Sometimes that comes more easily; sometimes it is the hardest thing to accept.

It was 4:15am when I clicked “Cancel flight”. Are you sure? “Yes”. I prayed again the same prayer I’d been voicing for a few weeks, and then each day, and then…hour by hour: “God, if this is the time, please clear the way; if not, I totally trust your wisdom and guidance.” I went to sleep. I knew I was not flying out on my originally planned 6am flight for Guatemala.

My phone rang at 7:30am. A man we’ve been praying for who is literally fighting for his life, was worse. The family had been called to come. These colleagues and friends found themselves standing, once again, in the valley. They needed prayer too. By noon I was praying with a circle of fire department officers as we asked the Lord for help and peace for this man and his family. We gave voice to our faith. We stood together.

I wasn’t supposed to be flying to Guatemala that day, I was supposed to be in Franklin, Tennessee, and available. In what would have normally been a packed scheduled, my time and focus was clear to be where I needed to be. A shift of plans that could only be God’s hand.

Later that afternoon, with a few phone calls and searching, I had free tickets on a next day flight with everything I needed. The way had not only been cleared, but it was also firmly established. I kept moving forward.

I landed in Guatemala the next day, too late to travel the full way to my destination, but fully here and confident the timing was all perfect. I went to sleep to the familiar sound of fireworks and music – the typical Latino pop or US 70’s rock. I woke up to the cherished sounds of birds, roosters and brooms brushing off the dust as people began their days. Parque Central stood soundly in place. A few people moved about, and I was “home”.

Morning bath at the fountain.
Parque Central, Antigua, Guatemala 2022

The changes in my schedule were just mine. Others who were visiting here to explore and see what God is doing in Guatemala had their schedules interrupted by blockades earlier in the week that stalled travel, and then by something that was stirring their spirits about ACD Guatemala. They returned to Xela, and we all arrived at ACD within the same hour on Friday. I missed their Thursday night fiesta, but I found conversation and synergy on Friday.

As we began to meet one another and share our stories, it was clear that once again, our steps had been directed by the one we are all trying to follow. Story after story, timing and connections – some even years in the making, we all gave voice to our faith. We shared our awkward and amazing calls to ministry. Our Creator is amazing!

Following the spirit always leads us on paths we could have never created on our own. If you are frustrated with the way your plans have been interrupted, just remember: We make plans, but it is the Lord who directs our steps. There may be other people and factors impacting the situation of which you have no idea. We all have our own journeys, it is God that connects them in the right timing. Trust God.

The timing of the Lord does not fail, even when it takes what may seem like a lifetime to be revealed. When we trust this, we can stop trying to “make” things happen and start placing ourselves in the position of being prepared while God’s perfect timing is being carefully arranged.

The human mind plans the way,
but the Lord directs the steps.
– Proverbs 16:9