Spring will come in your soul again Winter lingers there is yet more to do underground tending to the deeper matters grief questions longing.
Spring will come in your soul again like bulbs pushing through the cold crusty earth persisting until the green begins to show Announcing: “I am still alive!”
Spring will come in your soul again moments then hours occasionally for days Winter’s grief and longings meet spring’s hope and joy an invitation – speaking the beauty of what it is to be here, what it is to be whole.
I looked up just in time to see her reach up and grab the cloth from the edge of the table. The ceramic pot came crashing down. It broke open into many pieces and the strong, beautiful, and in full bloom, Anthrumim (Red Peace Lily), lay on the floor in a pile of dirt. I was in the middle of a zoom meeting. Thankful that my mic was muted so no one heard my: “NO!!!!!!!” although I’m sure from my expressions they could fill in the blanks: it’s the puppy!
The crash!
She already has a significant portion of my heart, so my response is tempered by my commitment to live through the puppy stage (how long does this last?) and enjoy the companionship of a well-trained dog. I can rethink this plant. It has a history and it’s the best plant I have; the only one that persistently blooms to let me know it’s happy here. I had already moved it once to “higher ground” when I saw her eyeing it on the plant stand last week. I underestimated her agility and strategy to find a different way to get it down to her level. It was the attraction of those beautiful green leaves! Which are toxic, of course.
So…I made the unexpected decision. Get a dog. Get it now. Get a puppy. Influenced by the generosity of my mother and sister, I took the risk and embraced the adventure. It seemed better than winter without a dog. Better than working too much, which is easy for us adults to do. Perhaps having a puppy also prevents one from not being silly as often as is needed for good health. Whatever the reasons or excuses…she is here, and we are living through this stage called “puppy”. Want to meet her? This is TRINITY.
She was already named when she came to me, and she knew her name well. Not to mention the quandary it might bring up if I determined “Trinity” was not a good enough name. It is not lost on me that a couple of weeks before she came, I was hanging an icon in my office; an icon with a title on the back: “Trinity”. So, she is here. My serene life before “puppy” is interrupted by indoor soccer, bones galore, chew toys for every hour, and a lot of night collapses where neither she nor I can move. I’ve met every neighbor that walks, strolls their babies, or has a dog. Word has traveled about her sharp puppy teeth – and – how much she absolutely loves people and other doggies. Our communal joy has increased with a puppy among us. She has some great service work ahead of her! But today…we are living through “puppy stage” together.
The plant I have enjoyed so much was a welcome gift when I started an appointment as Chaplain for the YMCA in 2016. It has thrived and always reminds me of the joyful three years serving with my YMCA friends and family. I’ve repotted it a couple of times over the past few years but had not noticed how much it was expressing its thriving now. When I scooped up the strong, green stems and placed the dirt into new containers, I discovered something. I had three plants, each with blooms on their stems and actually roots that were begging to be given more space to grow! It just wasn’t visible from the small container I’d been watering every week. It had become so familiar I didn’t notice the growth. And now…it’s all so much more!
Is it time to play?Because I’mready to playAnd I’m certain YOU need to play!
A puppy makes you play again, in case it’s been a while. Like a good friend who loves you just because you’re you, the puppy is sure a crash here and there will always be followed by a renewed sense of all that is good and right in life: JOY!
One crash; three beautiful discoveries!
I have been blessed by dogs that helped me grow in the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Hopefully the lessons learned in this new “puppy stage” will make me a better human along the way. More to come!
And may we always be mindful that sometimes a crash will break open something that was waiting for your discovery. Thank you, Lord, for that gift!
“FOR NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD” – the angel Gabriel in the Gospel of Luke 1:37
It’s not just a story for Christmas. It’s not just a story about unexpected pregnancies. It is a story that reminds us clearly that God can and does do anything with people, creatures, and all of creation. (Luke 1 is the reading)
Elizabeth and Zechariah, along with Mary and Joseph are two couples having an unbelievable experience with the holy. Mysterious. Outside of cultural norms. Breaking with traditional expectations, and even physical capabilities. It is miraculous and yes…unbelievable. It just does not make sense.
And yet, something inside Elizabeth trusts in this impossible message. Perhaps because the dream of having a child was so deeply embedded in her that the message aroused her hope. Or maybe all hope was gone, and she simply waited for the message to become realized in her body. Something inside Mary embraced what Gabriel had to say even though she could not comprehend it all; she accepted it as real and worthy of her full embrace. And so, these two women just kept going. They kept their eyes and ears on a faithful focus and let the “impossible” unfold.
Their husbands had a different experience and in their own time and own way, they also moved forward. Much is left unsaid about this. What is communicated is clear: nothing hindered the work of God in Mary and Elizabeth. It was never about Mary or Elizabeth. It was – and is – about what God was doing and whomever and however God chose to engage people in that holy adventure.
My grandfather was a farmer who often did things differently than his peers. He had a spiritual gift of faith and spent a lot of tractor time in the fields talking and listening for God. He took risks while others judged him crazy. He made decisions that others could not understand. He simply kept his eyes and heart focused on the next faithful step. The life of my grandparents, over time, yielded a miracle. A family spread all over the world with the deep unconditional love of God embedded in our DNA. Generations later, the miracle is still unfolding; it is not finished.
I really struggle when I lose my confidence. My work and life often require me to face difficult things. Depending on the Holy Spirit to help and trusting God to guide me is a critical part of the journey for me. Mary and Elizabeth faced a lot of obstacles and challenges. And yet, at each turn God provided a way for the miracle to persist…for birth to happen…for journeys to land in just the right place at just the right time. And here we are, thousands of years later, still marveling in awe and wonder and thanksgiving and praise for the ways God ushered forth the kingdom of heaven.
Doubt and fear are common enemies that creep up on us. Questions enter the mind: Is it too late? Am I too old or too young? Not enough education or experience? Look too different or think outside what is considered “normal”? Did I miss a critical piece that cannot be redeemed or restored? I could have, should have, would have, ….etc. Fill in your own blanks. Doubt and fear are not creative, and the patterns can be detected.
That is not how God works in our lives. Nothing is impossible with God. Trust the whispers of God in your life. Hold them in your heart and remain humble for how God walks with you. Say “yes” if you are given an invitation by God! Embrace the gift if God presents one into your life. However God comes to you…let it unfold one moment at a time as you simply do the next faithful step. Including sitting still when silence and stillness is the posture you’re invited to take.
With God all things are possible. THAT is the message that persists as we see God at work in the world fulfilling all that is promised. Trust it. Embrace it. Put your hope in it.
Prayer
Lord, we struggle with so many things. You see it. You know our deepest doubts and fears. You also know what we are capable of when you are the one acting in our lives. Please help us to hear you in whatever way you reveal yourself to us. Guide our steps and make straight on our paths. Remind us, Lord, that nothing will hinder your work from being fulfilled. Redirect our ponderings to that which you have planted deep within us. Thank you for restoring our confidence and hope in YOU. Thank you for all the generations that keep sharing the story of your faithfulness. We have so much joy in your presence! Amen.
An encounter with grace overwhelms the soul. It sets the mind at ease with unbelief, as gratitude and awe rush in to fill the gap. You are seen. You are loved. You have not been judged without mercy. Rather, you are being redirected and restored into right relationship that brings blessing and peace.
Undeserved? Yes, and yet still offered. Unsolicited? Yes, and yet still offered. Uncontrollable? Yes, and yet still offered.
I am struck by the risk of giving grace. Jesus gave freely, even knowing that Peter would deny him at a pivotal moment on the journey. Jesus washed the feet of Judas even though those feet would soon be making a strategic exit to carry out his betrayal. Jesus shared friendship and fellowship with Mary Magdalene even though others would criticize him and still be analyzing the relationship thousands of years later, as if it could not just be received as good because God gave it.
The Scriptures are full of stories where our weaknesses and darkest struggles rise to the surface and war for a place at the table. Dysfunction, greed, malice, slander, vengeance, lust, and taking on the role of judge. God’s story with the ancients and with us reminds us of how fully we are seen by God, and how graciously we are also loved. Yes, even in full view.
Ezekiel is an ancient prophet who was given the work of speaking judgement against Israel. Because the nation had used the blessings and gifts of God with disregard for their sacredness, and had exchanged their loyalty for temporary pleasures of counterfeit gods, judgement has come. Upon them and upon the land. Judgement with required consequences. Judgement with promised redemption. A verse in this story jumps out at me. It comes after several verses explaining the offense and pending judgement:
62 So I will establish my covenant with you, and you will know that I am the Lord. 63 Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation, declares the Sovereign Lord.’” – Ezekiel 16:62-63
A promised atonement is coming. “when I make atonement..” and silence follows because the act of the Lord is so great and overwhelming. Paul speaks of a similar silence when he writes to the church in Rome, over 500 years later.
19 Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. 21 But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:19-24
I have been silenced by this grace. In a moment or season of realizing the Lord has literally reached out the hand of Christ and pulled me from the miry clay! Setting my feet on the rock that is higher than I can ever be. Showing me again where the landing place is, where I am safe from my own devices. (Psalm 40; Psalm 61)
So perhaps we can say that there is also risk in receiving grace. Because receiving grace means we are stepping into a holy adventure with our Creator. It means beautiful things will happen that we didn’t anticipate and we can’t manufacture. Our hearts will grow in ways we never imagined could be possible. Receiving the grace of God slowly reframes how we walk through life…one moment at a time. That is a journey of faith.
It’s easy to look in a lot of other places for something that only God can give. It can become exhausting and confusing when those attempts don’t yield the promises we hoped they would bring. AND it is life-giving when the grace of God shows up in our lives and restores us. Whether it comes upon us unexpectedly, or we intentionally turn to the one who created us and is so ready to give…we are often left with silence. Gratitude that is beyond words.
The Psalms hold many prayers that lend words to assist. I offer these brief verses:
“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools. I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this. – Psalm 40:7-9
And as a thanksgiving:
1Praise awaitsyou, our God, in Zion; to you our vows will be fulfilled. 2 You who answer prayer, to you all people will come. 3 When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgaveour transgressions. 4 Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts! We are filled with the good things of your house, of your holy temple. – Psalm 65:1-4
Prayer God, we are grateful for your grace! Thank you for revealing yourself in ways that take our breath away. Thank you for allowing us to be silenced by your acts of mercy in our lives. You understand the struggle and you keep picking us up and setting us in safe places. And by your grace, we stand. We stand because of your great love and mercy. Please take our hands and help us to keep moving forward with you. We trust you completely, Lord, and we love you. Amen.
Where do you need God’s grace in your life right now? How is God inviting you to offer grace to someone else?
So many beginnings! Walking into new classrooms Establishing “home” wherever we’re landing Sometimes for a while Sometimes for what may seem as if it could be forever Like a plant that grows in the forest revealing more beauty with each passing season. God is watching over us.
When the tears of grief arrive inconveniently where no one knows your loss Or The memory of love brings an unexpected smile that cannot be concealed And When dreams persist and insist on not being forgotten even when you tuck them away or send them down the river with peace… God is watching over you.
While setting up a new office Learning how to navigate a road you didn’t know you would need to take Accepting a diagnosis that asks your routine to adjust; doesn’t that seem rude? Discovering what we didn’t know about each other, and now we can’t forget. Grace stands near, ready to assist. More deep breaths We will all be OK. Creator, God, is here. Pause and receive.
Lord, thank you for creating us with capacity to experience the fullness of this life. For endings and beginnings For sorrow and deep joy For love in its many forms Bringing forth beauty and blessing As if you knew all along, we’d be turning around to ask for help. Thank you. Help us to be aware of your presence among us today. Amen.
We don’t always get what we want, and sometimes we get what we didn’t know we need. We buried my faithful canine companion in the foggy morning sunrise today. My Pincho (sister) and I did it together. It was peaceful; a resting place for his furry body. He was 15 years old, and we had the gift of sharing the last 7 of those years. I didn’t find him online or in a newspaper ad, not even at a shelter. I was looking for something else when he chose me.
Epiphany 2017; a very cold January day, one of the coldest of the year. My sister and I drove to Kentucky in pursuit of a white dog that had been posted online as available in a shelter. We were there several hours before opening time but we were still second in line for this dog. By the time the shelter opened there were 15 cars in the parking lot, all in pursuit of this one white dog. I guess we all thought he was perfect.
“First person in line gets dibs on the dog”, they announced it well before 10am so no one would be disappointed. We took our chances. I’d waited 16 months since Tiki (another faithful companion) died. He was my partner in work, my companion at home. It took a long time to be ready to do it all again. Sometimes we really do have to pace our hearts.
While we waited I let my cousin know we were near, in case we needed a reference. We were crossing state lines to go to KY where this certain white dog was waiting in the shelter. The shelter finally opened. The man that was first in line definitely wanted the white dog, and we accepted our fate. I looked at all the dogs in the shelter that morning; none was the dog for me.
Just as we were leaving my cousin texted me to ask if we’d been able to get the dog we had hoped we could have. I shared the story and that we were soon to be on our way home to TN, without a dog and still glad we tried. And then my cousin said the thing we didn’t expect to hear. “One of my friends just posted that they are looking for a home for their dog. Do you want to meet him?”
Thinking it couldn’t hurt anything, we headed that way. Within ten minutes we were standing in the kitchen of a family home. There was a mom and three young boys (the dad wasn’t home at that moment), and there was this little dog running around the house. While we were just standing there, hearing their story, this little black & white shitzu named “Oreo” came straight over to me, sat down at my feet, and looked up at me as if to clearly speak, “I am going home with you!”
In a true whirlwind, within five or ten minutes we are loading the truck with a dog bed, food, pee pads, toys, and Oreo. I’d never been “chosen” in that way before by a completely strange dog that had no reason to like me. It was very clear, Oreo was going home with me.
Pick up day, Epiphany 2017Starting over…a new lifeThe many collars in our 7 years
There is always a lot to every family’s story. And no one can ever fully know someone else’s story. In this case the little boys were growing up and playing soccer and all the things. It was a busy family life, and Oreo was showing signs of not being pleased with the competing schedules. They were his third owner…I would be the fourth. His original person was elderly and died, leaving him to a surviving relative. He stayed with them for a year, but schedules were a challenge and a new home was found …with this family of five. It was perfect for about three years. But there is more.
There had been a situation where Oreo was missing for three weeks in the winter. It was cold in Kentucky and somehow, he survived on his own, but went through a very difficult time. He lost all of his hair and a lot of weight. And just when they had given up all hope of ever finding him, someone called. He had shown up at their door and he needed help. He still had on his collar. Soon he was reunited with his family and they began helping him get restored to health. When we met him, he was looking good; his tail was thin and really the only sign that anything had ever happened.
I brought him home to TN. He was not the breed I was hoping for, nor the age or size, or anything else for that matter. But there was no mistake about him choosing me as we stood in that kitchen. He wanted to come home with me and I didn’t feel like I could do anything except bring him home. And for a whole year, I didn’t take him anywhere. I spent a lot of time with him and tried to give him a sense that he wasn’t going to be going anywhere else; he was “home”. We got to know one another. He slowly began to trust that I was going to be “his” and that he was safe. And I slowly began to accept that he was the dog I needed.
So we went to work. Almost every day. Whatever I was doing, I put him to doing it too. And he excelled.
Visiting kids at churchStaff stress reliefGreeting Pastor CarlisleAttending the girls small group meetinghating the bows placed by groomers waiting for the next assignmentBeing grateful for the youth staffGreeting visitors at the airport; friends arriving!Sharing bone time with Cinder (cousin)Visiting the injuredVisiting the sickStealing cookies from the youth group!
He did all the work and was fabulous at it! He seemed to know his job: encouragement and love.
He also learned to love “us”. He was included in the family gatherings, as most dogs do. He was able to express love and appreciation, even entertain whoever showed up for the “there’s always room for one more” invitation. I was so grateful to see him embrace this life!
Grandmother time always a hit! On the road togetherHe loves his Auntie Pincho so much!Canoe adventure with cousin CinderMinistry is hard work; tired!Keep it simple; low stressWaiting for youWinter potrait with cousin Cinder and Auntie PinchoChristmas greetingHe loved his grandmother!Always quick to secure a boneIt’s who I am
There is so much more! For today…I just want to honor what a gift Oreo was to my life and to the work we shared. I’m grateful he didn’t suffer in this life when he was old. I’m thankful we had so many moments to make clear that we knew the blessing we’d been given. I’m glad he chose me on that cold Epiphany in 2017. And by God’s grace I was able to receive what was being given.
God of Peace and Mercy God of Wisdom and Grace We acknowledge you who hold all things and are in all things. Thank you for the ways you reveal your glory to us and around us. The stillness of the summer air in June The watchful eye of a hawk in the morning The love in households where people are preparing for the day; The silence in places where nature is the companion.
Rush in, Holy Spirit. Rush in Great Redeemer. Rush in to change the conversations among families and friends, work teams and leaders, strangers on the street and whomever is in our path. We welcome you, Holy God, to turn our attentions where they need to be so that we can see your mighty hand at work. We know and trust, Holy God, that you are indeed present and acting right now. Mold us into what we do not know Transform us bit by bit or all at once; we need you. We trust you completely so we yield all of ourselves… to you. Thank you, Lord, for your steady faithfulness and for not giving up on any of us.
We love you. Amen.
The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter til the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. – Proverbs 4:18-19
We left the church last night in silence, after watching the purple vestments of the Lenten season carefully removed from the altar. Each pastor lifted the stole from the neck of their robes and handed them over, expressing the surrender and darkness of what is unfolding. It was all taken away…the bread and cup, the vestments, the vessels, and the crucifer.
I had a deep sense of pending loss. Of persecution or injury, perhaps, to the church that we know. A time when our practice is rejected. A season in which we are called to face the reality of what we have allowed, or not allowed. Maybe complacency. Or perhaps enjoying the comfort and security of a religion that has largely moved us along in a direction we could all embrace. It didn’t require more than we were willing to give.
But what is this? What is this cross that keeps showing up in the middle of our beautiful practice? What is this pain that keeps emerging? Some discomfort that says something is not quite right. What are these signs that say, “no more”? The cross is part of the redemptive story; we can’t remove it. If it is the way of redemption, why do we treat sacrifice as if it doesn’t belong in the story we are living every day?
Is that our denial? Like Peter, “we don’t know him”, because it doesn’t match anything we expected out of life. What a disappointment it must have been for Peter. He thought he was part of God’s kingdom coming to fulfillment. Instead, the one he has known as Messiah is under arrest and all signs point to crucifixion. It’s messy. It’s awkward. There’s too much mercy in all the wrong places. Peter took such a risk to go down this path, and it’s falling apart. “I don’t know him”.
It feels better when we can point to someone else’s failure or sin as the cause of our disruption. It makes it easier to not see the cross in my own house if I’m peering out at my neighbor’s unkept lawn. I can forget that I may be contributing to the injustice in our world if I keep my eyes focused on the way my colleague, or family, or friend, or enemy is doing life so imperfectly. Ughh…. So many voices were there on what we call “Good Friday”.
Pilate in his role of leadership and order. High priests in their role of religious expertise and upholding the righteousness of God. Disillusioned and disappointed disciples that can’t understand why Jesus is letting this all happen. Crowds that love the drama and the chance to express their anger onto a helpless man whose sheer physical suffering makes them feel powerful. Shouts of cruelty. Physical injury. The sport of condemnation and humiliation. Women who refuse to leave and can’t hold back their tears for what the men are doing to one another and to the one they know is Christ; observers of those in charge. Others who are ready to take advantage of the moment and get what they want out of the situation; making sure their seat in eternity is secure.
So many voices were there. Enough that I can find myself somewhere in the scene, although it would feel much better to imagine I’d be walking through those hours more faithfully than they did.
Sitting with the text of Good Friday, I do wonder, in what ways am I ignoring the part of the gospel that teaches us that sacrifice is included in the way of redemption? The kingdom of God is fulfilled on earth, not by my comfort, but by through sacrificial suffering and living with Christ’s death and resurrection. The invitation Jesus makes is to let our selfishness die, allowing God’s spirit in us to become fully alive.
It really does mean, “not my will, but thine”. It does mean setting aside my pride and desire for success and taking up obedience in whatever way God asks me to be obedient in any season. Like Jonah appointed to Nineveh or Peter being instructed to eat what was once “unclean”, it means Jesus becomes Lord of my life, and I follow him.
It means I need to stop telling myself a story that makes me feel better about the cross I’m refusing to take up to follow Jesus.
So many voices were there at his arrest, while the humiliation and trials take place; the condemnation is secured, as the crucifixion is planned and executed.
Lingering on Good Friday, I am struck silent in realizing how many voices are present right now, doing the same: hurling insults, inflicting injury, making fun, condemning, discounting, and shouting, “crucify!”.
I remember echoes of Jesus teaching something like: “whatever you did for the least of these you also did for me.” And “whatever you did not do for the least of these, you did not do for me.” – Matthew 25:31-46 (NIV)
Is it a misinterpretation to say, whatever I do to someone else, I am also doing to Christ?
I hear a voice speaking through my pondering. It is clear. There is a way we are to live in all seasons. Seasons of war and peace. Seasons of plenty and seasons of famine. Jesus gave the disciples a new command. It has not changed over time. There is no “revised” version. It contains no trademark, logo, denomination, flag or label:
Love one another as I have loved you. This is how they will know you are my disciples.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:34-35 (NIV)
Lord, on this Good Friday when we tell your story, help us to tell it humbly and truthfully. Lord, on this Good Friday, when we hear the story, help us to receive it fully. Lord, through this Triduum, help us to see the places in our lives where we are denying you and refusing to carry the cross that will lead us into the kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. We have no good apart from you, Lord, and we are quite helpless to save ourselves. Come quickly Lord Christ to assist. Thank you for not giving up on us. Amen.
I live in this holy sacred space Silence our shared language Mystery of the morning hours Returning at night when dreams make sleep move over to the other side Leaving me with scenes to ponder.
Prayer comes breath by breath grounding me somewhere you Ask me to be. I don’t always know where you’re taking me.
Your presence is Always enough. Like the sound of the voice of Someone I love You almost need to do nothing except make me aware of your Presence.
“…in your presence there is fullness of joy and life everlasting.”
Psalm 16:11 Ash Wednesday, 2024 Vona Rose Wilson 2/14
Creator of All, you are the Light of morning you are the comfort in the dark. Thank you for the way you greet us today. We are in awe of your mighty hand – painting the sky and forests for us sending the river across the rocks hurling through the bends of current running… refusing to be stopped, living fully. We are in awe, Lord, of your strength and mercy your covenant and forgiveness your certainty and freedom. Thank you for loving us even as we try to make you into the image that we can comprehend.
We misunderstand your greatness. Please keep surprising us with your mighty hand making all things new. New in our hearts and minds New in our communities and in your world. We love you. We trust you completely. We yield the day, the week, our lives…into your hands. Amen.
A cold winter day in January with lingering snow on the ground is a good invitation for prayer. After a week of pause in yielding to nature’s course, the days may hold too much. It doesn’t all have to be crammed into Monday, or even Tuesday. Faithfulness to a day’s work is enough. The past week is not “lost”, it was provided. Playing in the snow or reading a good book, even dealing with busted pipes, it all “counts” as fullness in living.
Take the day and live it. Fully. With tears when grief is present. With laughter and all out joy if that gift is offered. With strength and mercy, compassion, and wisdom. Carefully. Fully. Humbly. As one deeply loved, even when you don’t know it.
Life in the Deep End 